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Many people think Guinness World Records are jokes, and make light of the variety of events and categories in which people can hold ‘records’. But at the end of the day, they’re still competitions, challenges, which shouldn’t be taken lightly.
There are so many sports out there, and just because these Guinness World Record events are usually only attempted a handful of times, who’s to say any one of them couldn’t catch on and take the world by storm?
All great sports were just silly competitions in their early days, played between friends for the love of the game. If things like pole vault, discus and croquet can gain appeal and become accepted as ‘sports’, why shouldn’t Guinness World Record events?
At the end of the day, I mainly love sports for the ever changing and unpredictable drama that is naturally served up by individuals expending all they’ve got in order to win.
So, while one might struggle to find many similarities between ‘Running Through Consecutive Panes Of Glass’ and regular sports, one thing you can be assured of is ever changing and unpredictable drama.
And whilst ‘Running Through Consecutive Panes of Glass’ naturally appeals to most sport fans out there, to properly market a game like this, you need that someone special. You need a star player, like Michael Jordan in basketball or Jack Nicklaus in golf. Someone who was born to play…
Crackerjack is clearly a regular guy, that we can all relate to, and best of all, an AUSSIE!
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! Am I right??
What better role model to get the average man and woman into a fledgling sport? He shows that anyone, with spirit and determination, can challenge any sport.
The thing that’s great about crackerjack is that he clearly hasn’t attempted this many (if any) times before, but, like a true sporting legend, has been somehow drawn towards the sport he was meant to play anyway.
But every great sport star needs an adversary, a rival who will challenge them to reach heights they never thought possible…
I know what you’re thinking. No way can he beat him; he’s way too big! But true sport stars don’t need brawn to achieve victory.
My favourite sport stars are the ones that use their brains, to out-think their opponent, to strategise solutions to overcome any handicaps or difficulties that might face them.
And Crackerjack knows how to use his head…
David Vs Goliath moments. They are why you watch sports. When the odds look a million to one, and sport comes along and makes the impossible possible.
Unfortunately, because we’ve all seen situations like this in sport before, we’ve all seen the Hollywood movies, it’s pretty easy to guess what’ll happen next…
Now that’s what I call a SPORT!
If that wasn’t epic drama akin to a Shakespearean tragedy then call me crazy. ‘Running Through Consecutive Panes of Glass’ is an emotional rollercoaster that keeps you guessing till the end; sounds like a sport going places! Catchy name too!
I think it just needs more grass roots support. It would help if they worked on the awards for winning too; I mean this just doesn’t really make it seem all that worthwhile now does it?
Waiting Lines Are Crap
Hair Rules!
I hate the gameshow Pyramid for 2 reasons
They claim to have ‘celebrity guests’
They claim to have ‘celebrity guests’
So silly these ‘celebrities’. I hate the term, but to be labeled a celebrity I think at least 6 out of 10 people would have to recognize your name. You have to be FAMOUS, well known, spoken of often by others, remembered and recognized easily.
If people stare and often point at you in public (if you dress up as a famous person or mascot that doesn’t count) then you could be a celebrity, and thus, much more interesting than a regular person.
So imagine my disappointment with a show like Pyramid. You can’t jazz up excitement with the idea of celebrity guests, then dish up people like this:
Lara Davenport
Natalie Garonzi
James Horwill
Charli Delaney
Drew Jarvis
Beau Walker
Jordan Loukas
Who are these people? Just because they have a wikipedia page, doesn’t mean they’re a celebrity. And it’s very dangerous just labeling people ‘celebrities’, they might actually start believing it!
If you believe you’re a celebrity, you could start doing all sorts of crazy things. You might start believing that every photo taken in your vicinity is directed at you, you might start buying lavish jewelry or assume that you can woo beautiful women.
Unfortunately it seems as though some of these pretend ‘celebrities’ are starting to believe in the channel nine primary schooled aimed hype. Take one of the contestants, ‘Beau Walker’, who claims that he is “known for his acting career on the Nine Network programmes such as ‘The Shak, Mortified and Pyramid’”.
Obviously not famous, I can only assume he’s a terrible actor, given that they’re not meant to actually be acting on Pyramid. But the ex-surfer (U/18’s Billabong World Junior Championships) seems to be letting the wild world of afternoon television get to his head. This quote can be found on his wikipedia page:
I knew he couldn’t be famous just for being on Pyramid. A 6 year relationship with a girl I’ve never heard of nor can find on google, that’s definitely gotta make him famous, right?
Pyramid, please, get some Hollywood stars, international soccer players or world leaders on there, otherwise call them something a little more down to earth so you don’t get people’s hopes up.
Lastly, the prizes, the element that drives all competition, is sadly lacking in Pyramid. Don’t they want to increase the popularity of the show? Don’t they want kids wishing and dreaming for a shot on that stage?
Because with the prizes they offer, it’s gonna be hard to build up a hype. Frankly, any potential contestants out there watching the show, who thought they’d do well, might just have a change of heart like the girl in the following clip.
Ouch! No wonder she was disappointed! . Keep in mind that was her reward for umming and ahhing on national television like a dill for 30 minutes.
Let’s itemize those wonderful runner up prizes:
Electronic Mock - $14.99
Electronic Twister - $6.99
Pyramid Hat and Bag (How shit?) – ($0.00 – Rough Guess)
Book ‘The Phoenix Files’ - $16.99
One Free Combo Card – $15.00 (Timezone Knox)
So what, maybe $55 worth of prizes? Pyramid, you get the prizes for free just for advertising them on national TV! Why settle for just those? I think the problem lays in your so called “famous” guests.
Because you label them ‘celebrities’, their agents can demand more appearance money, thus leaving less money in the budget for prizes for the kids. Nice work, shafting the kids so we can see some dude from backyard blitz struggle to interpret an ‘um’
I wasn’t sure though, I figured yeh, they were the losing team, losers suck, give them the crap prizes, but the winners will get better ones after the final challenge.
It would seem the contestants were under this false impression as well…
Um, what the heck is Rummikub?
And Test Match? Where is the motivation to compete!? Cricket is dull enough thanks Pyramid.
Can we bring back ‘A*mazing’ already, I know James Sherry is only doing MC work these days at the MCG, I’m sure something could be figured out…
My cousin came back from South East Asia; and he’d gone mental on the DVD’s. We all know there are bargains, but did he really need 300 of them?
Clearly, the answer is yes. If not just for the movies, then for the litany of errors that came with them.
Many had the wrong movies inside, many had subtitles in unknown languages and most looked liked they’d be filmed from inside some guy’s overcoat.
But my favourite errors were the DVD covers, with incorrect blurbs and pictures of actors with names of other actors instead. Classic Bangkok humour.
But on several of them it seems they put the promo poster for the movie on the front, but bizarrely, changed the tag line! Classic Bangkok humour.
Check em out…
Somehow I don’t think so…
He is looking rather pale…
He’s holding two guns right? Love this one, looked up the original poster…and this is actually it!
I don’t like being in photos. Posing, saying cheese etc makes me uncomfortable. So when my friend offered to take some shots of me that I could use in someway to promote my comedy show, I thought nooooooo! But he assured me it would be fine. So we took them. Here is a sample (not the worst ones)
I think, clearly, I don’t know how to use my face. I’ve had it my whole life, and I’m a little concerned, because my whole life I’ve just assumed that when I’m happy or upset or excited my face is doing the necessary things required to convey those emotions. But maybe they’re not, and they never have been, which would explain all the dirty looks I received at my mum’s funeral.
I think it didn’t help that when I was younger I stunted my own ability to develop photogenically (not a word) for a fair few years there. When requested to ‘smile’ for a photo, I seemed to repeat the same two smiles again and again and nothing else.
The ‘please just finish taking the photo’ smile, where I grin with lips closed and my eyes look desperate and impatient. Or the ‘I’m gonna act wacky and open my mouth and look all crazy surprised’ version (see photo in top right hand corner) which looked good in one photo once but now just haunts me.
So the photo shoot confirmed my fears, I had a lousy face. So I went away for the weekend to central Victoria, to cheer myself up. And, as always, just I was feeling a bit better, I had to come across this ad on a roadside bin.
Ok I get it Denise! You can face act. No need to rub it in! If an ad agency asks you to look disappointed with overgrown gutters, you know how to do that. Well that’s great, but some of us aren’t so lucky.
Look at the emotional range; from disappointment to ecstasy, it just comes so easily for her.
Super play by Four Seasons Gutter Protection, getting Denise Drysdale. But I guess it also helps that she’s pretty good at ‘bending the truth’ in order to help sell a product.
Take her claim, on the poster, that “the best thing I ever did was install Four Seasons Gutter Protection”. Believable for most, but those of us with an in depth Australian film history knowledge would automatically know that to be a lie.
Whilst the gutter protection system may be superior to her time on Hey Hey It’s Saturday, could it really be better than her performances in the 1979 classic films, “The Last Of The Knucklemen” & “The Night After Halloween”?
It actually hurt me a little, to see someone like Denise sell out her entire career for some gutter covers. If that’s one of the dangers in becoming photogenic, then I don’t want to be.
Lucky, coz I’m still not…
I’m a firm believer in eradicating as much advertising as possible that is aimed at children. Let’s face it; these savvy marketing techniques that advertisers use these days make it impossible for kids to resist begging their parents for toys they don’t need.
I saw an excellent example of this advertised recently.
See what I mean, how are kids supposed to resist this toy? It’s AWESOME! I want one too! And then they showed another, this time for a “Zyclone!”
Seriously, how cool does the Zyclone look? He shot it through 3 concrete pipes and knocked over all the cans! Cool!
But it’s so unfair; they show these kids playing with the toys in the best environments imaginable. So they’ve not only bought the toy, they’ve also found a rad ‘trick park’ and brought along their own matching silver cans. Who does that?
It’s so unrealistic, and as a byproduct, they most likely make these kids depressed. Because in real life the kids get the toy, then realize hey, look how crappy my actual surroundings are.
That’s actually where I think my depression might have originated. As my birthday is November 28, each year I’d get presents, and sometimes during the month of December I’d see my birthday toy advertised on TV. I’ll never forget my Ninja Turtle toys…
Imagine my confusion as a kid. I grew up next to a sewerage plant, as real as you could get when it came to the Ninja Turtles right? But still, it could never compare to places the TV kids got to play with their Donatello’s and Raphael’s.
They had spotlights, boxes, miniature city streets and flying foxes! And there was no shit to be seen! I had no backyard and the overwhelming smell of urine for 24 hours a day, what a lousy comparison.
But, I don’t wanna take it out on toys, mostly they’re really cool, and overall I probably blame my unemployed father for our precarious financial position growing up and the hardships that it caused.
In conclusion, toys are great and ads are bad. Does anyone out there have any toy memories or classic ads that they remember? If you do please leave a comment below…
Comments:
Toys RUle!
@RabbitsOhYeah 6 hours ago
Ewww you lived next to a sewerage plant?! Gross…
basshunter477 6 hours ago
My uncle had depression, you get better!!! :) :)
maxshine22 6 hours ago
OMG GROSS POO!!
@unterkiefermann 6 hours ago
I’d be depressed if I lived next to pee and poo…
TalkNerdyToMeh1 4 hours ago
A copterang?! Who would want any of that those toys are gay!
Pain1969KILLer 4 hours ago
Depression can happen anytime poo or no poo its everywheer wake up every1!!!!
ComprehendTheTruth 4 hours ago
Yeh my uncle and sister and friend had/has depression it’s no laughing matter you better seriously have it that’s not funny if you don’t!
YoYoItsHaylee 4 hours ago
HAHAHA POO! POO POO POO POO!!!
XxDisneyCrazyxX 4 hours ago
Hey Pain1969KILLer get out with your Redneck style you better realize so called ‘gay’ peple have feelinS!!
RhiaBuzz 3 hours ago
Yeh gay feelings lol lol
@ZZRVXZZ 3 hours ago
I bought a Zyclone they are cool but we got ours stuck up a tree :( :( :(
steven196767 2 hours ago
That teenage Ninja clip was from like 2004! Still cool toys though Donatello had to have him!
@DDUDE1900 1 hour ago
We all have feelins gay or not you just gotta make sure you aware of those others feelins too!!!
RhiaBuzz 1 hour ago
Forgive you father, as god says forgiveness is the only way if not you will end up hating and hating is eeeeeeeevil. My prayers are with your depression :)
@maggru91 1 hour ago
Love is the key with all family, just let god into your heart and his teachings can be love for you forever I also like Raphael
DominicanPrincess881 55 minutes ago
Ah, newsflash, god don’t exist!!!!!!!!
@genoark 41 minutes ago
Ah NEWSFLASH! GOd created all and that includes you!!!! So you will feel his wrath in good time oh you will
@RichVillx 15 minutes ago
No wonder it's always losers like you (check his channel) who rely on a vengeful god to reach people. Too bad nature gave you such an ugly face and a weakling body, that's life. You could've had it so much better if you worked- out and just be a cool dude to compensate for it (I have friends like that and they rock). But instead you chose the easy way out: fear, guilt, disconnection from reality
@genoark 2 minutes ago
shut up motherfucker, you do not know what you're saying, when you're in danger who calls you, the devil, so excuse me, but you will be the next\\
@RichVillx 19 seconds ago
COMMENTS SUSPENDED BY ADMINISTRATOR
Simple question guys, “Does anyone out there have any toy memories or classic ads that they remember?”
I’m sorry I’ve had to close this chat, regrettably because I just realized that mainly morons seem to use the Internet…
So I worked at outbound market research call centres for like 3 years, and it can get quite dull there. Thousands of calls, staving off the urge to pass out right there on the keyboard, it was tough.
So I began to take down the actual numbers of all the funniest answering machine messages I heard. Then I would call them later, and record the messages. So I thought I’d share a couple of my favourite ones with you…
Q. What's the 3rd Most Important meal of the day?
A. Lunch
Q. What's the most pretentious meal of the day?
A. Brunch
Q. How do you judge an Olympic platform diving competition?
A. Many spins + no splash = Really good
Q. What’s more fun than hula hooping?
A. Hula hooping with no hoop.
Q. When has a work lie gone too far?
A. When you receive flowers.
Q. What is better than an 'on ice' performance?
A. Not many things, but I did see 'Les Miserables...on Trapeze!' and it blew my mind...
Q. My wife wants our kids to get some photos taken at a nearby studio called 'Unposed Kids Photography'? But if they're not posing, doesn't that make the photographer a paedophile?
A. Yes, stay away from there.
Q. How do Asian people choose alternative western names?
A. With great bravery.
Q. What’s the worst part of being a bear?
A. Sleeping on their arm whilst hibernating. The ensuing pins and needles are hell.
Q. Is there a theory on why people choose particular Monopoly pieces at the start of the game?
A. Yes, studies have found that those who believe they will be successful choose pieces that move, like a car, boat or dog. Those who doubt their abilities pick the boot, iron or hat. And those with no personality whatsoever are drawn to the thimble.
Q. What do friends with A.D.D do for fun?
A. Get distracted together.
Q. Why did my school make each student’s family eat 60 boxes of Maltesers once a year?
A. Those were fundraising boxes, your family was meant to sell them.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me at spencer@spencerhodges.com
